CURRENT CONDITIONS HAVE RESULTED IN THE POSTPONEMENT OF ALL GROUP WORKSHOPS*** PLEASE CONTACT ME FOR COACHING AVAILABILITY
8-Week Open Enrollment Workshop
Offered at Community Center, St. John's Parish, 1 Valley Street (just off Hillsdale Avenue) Hillsdale, NJ 07642.
Eight Thursday evenings, starting March 5 and running through April 30. (Session #3 is on Wed 3/18). No session on April 9. Time: 7:15 - 9:30pm.
Fee of $395 includes 16-hours class time, all materials, access to the instructor for the run of the Workshop plus 3 months; plenty of fun and relief from stress. *Special $50 discount for St. John's parish and St. John's Academy families, or if you've studied STEP with me before or sign up a friend. Payment plan available. Please see the Workshop Overview/FAQ page for more specifics.
The Philosophy behind STEP: Why do Children Misbehave? (It’s not what you may think)
Learn to Act and not React; the former has a purpose and the latter means we are being manipulated
Displays of Emotion are social: how this affects communication with our kids
Encouragement vs. Rewards: why the former is wholly preferable to the latter
Improving communication: Practicing “reflective” listening and the power of empathy
Whose problem is it?—“I”-messages and exploring alternatives when problems arise
Consequences vs. Punishment: how the former trains children to be responsible and capable, and the latter may create power struggles and provoke rebellion
Selecting the best approach in a given situation; applying your STEP techniques
The value of family meetings
Using STEP in ALL relationships
The goal: Respectful, effective discipline, and cooperative, independent, happy children.
Q: What do I get when I sign up for STEP with OneSTEPAhead Workshops?
A: The course itself covers:
16 hours of class lecture and discussion;
the Parent’s Handbook, the primer on STEP written by the authors of the program;
all reading material and handouts, as well as a recommended reading list covering topics of common interest in depth;
information and problem-solving tailored to your requirements (divorce situation, step-families, etc.);
personal coaching in the STEP approach for the run of the workshop plus three months;
a lot of fun, and more than a little relief from stress.
Q: How much does the program cost?
A: It depends on which program you choose.
For the 8-Week Workshop, $395 per person. $50 discount if you've studied STEP with me before, or sign up with a friend.
Larger groups (more than 15) may have lower per-person pricing. Payable in installments if desired.
Private Coaching clients: $795, payable in installments.
Sponsored Workshops (participant's fee paid by Sponsoring Group such as a PTA or employer) are available also, for a flat fee. May be tailored to half- or full-day programs. Please contact me for pricing and other details.
Q: My kids are older—is there any point in taking STEP now—or is it too late?
A: As long as you are a parent, it’s never “too late”. Of course it’s easier to implement behaviour changes when you start early. But no matter when you learn and apply the STEP approach, it will reduce your family’s stress and strengthen all relationships, including those of the siblings. Workshop participants have made comments such as: "STEP has given me back my son.” Adults have repaired estranged relationships with their own parents and siblings after taking STEP. The way we see it, any relationship worth having is worth improving.
Q: There are so many parenting programs out there—why should I take this one?
A: Unlike other programs that promise “total transformation” of wayward children in minutes, or use points or prizes to bring about desired behaviour, STEP takes an holistic approach, treating children with respect and requiring the same in return. Cooperation is expected. STEP is neither permissive (you are a doormat) nor authoritarian (you are a dictator). Instead it finds a middle ground where the problem behaviour-- NOT the child-- becomes the focus.
When a child is "in trouble", whether or not he is at fault, his natural reaction is defensiveness; this often devolves into power struggles and fighting. This approach can damage the relationship and often has the parent taking responsibility for the problem. STEP puts the focus instead on the bad behaviour; together with a calm response, we can preserve the relationship while teaching appropriate behaviour.
Q: My husband/wife refuses to implement STEP/actively undermines my efforts—what can I do?
A: While it would be helpful and certainly easier to present a united front, with both parents implementing the program, IT IS NOT NECESSARY for success. In your child’s world, many of the adults will still be using reward and punishment or getting involved in power struggles. You can be the constant of trust and encouragement for your child, regardless of what Grandma or her stepmother may be doing. You will also learn to use STEP with the other adults in your life.
Q: It’s overwhelming—I can’t agree with/apply all of the STEP approaches I am learning. Can it still work?
A: YES—while it is a system designed to build upon itself, sometimes there are areas of your relationship with your kids that are working and are not STEP. That’s fine. Apply STEP to the problem areas and see that it works. Later on, you may be more comfortable applying STEP to other areas, for example, the subject of food (always a tricky one!)
Q: It’s overwhelming—it makes sense in class but when I get home I go back to my un-STEP ways. What can I do?
A: Like any other behavior modification—say a new diet—it’s best to be patient with yourself and realize you are doing it for the long term. Just as a diet isn’t (or shouldn’t be!) for a few weeks only, STEP is a change for the better—for life. That’s why the course takes 8 weeks from start to finish. And that’s why I am here by phone or email to coach you through the 8-week course and for three months afterward, as you are implementing what you’ve learned.
Q: My relationship with my kids is OK — why should I bother with all this work?
A: If you’re really happy with your family relationships, you are one of the blessed and are probably doing all this naturally. But if you think things could be a little better; if you are tired of hearing yourself say “How many times do I have to say…??”; if you are worried about the toll that fighting may be taking on your relationships, or if you are worried about worse things-- STEP is the most valuable investment that you can make. The difference will be profound. Your kids will learn to be self-motivated, and self-disciplined. And you may find yourself falling in love with them all over again.